Dating a Guy Who's Out of Your League? How to Get In

Ever wonder if you're not quite good enough for a man? A woman recently confessed to me
that she just started dating a corporate guy, but she's from what she terms a 'lower' class. She's afraid to get involved with him due to their different backgrounds.

Let's face it; if this relationship takes off, she'll become part of another world, and
it can be daunting to fit in with any new man's friends, colleagues, and
especially his parents.

But many couples manage it; I know one in particular who've been happily married for 23 years.
The husband came from a family of professionals, while his wife's father drove a truck
and her mother worked as a housekeeper. They were--and still are--attracted
to each other due to their love of common things, and the fact that they
have similar values.

'Class' didn't matter all that much to George Harrison when he met his
wife. He was at the height of global post-Beatle stardom when he fell
in love with a secretary at a record company.

An interviewer once said to Olivia Harrison, "You were very lucky to
be dating a Beatle."

She answered, "I thought he was very lucky to be dating me!"

Know this: You are unique, one-of-a-kind, special. What is it about
you that sets you apart from the rest of humanity? What do you love
to do? What are you passionate about? If it's art, develop your talent.
Become known for it. If it's a love for animals, then pursue that.

Your specialness transcends class.

Now, you may be saying, "This knucklehead's telling me to take up oil painting
when I don't even know what fork to use at dinner!"

But etiquette can be learned easily. Take a book out of the
library and practice (I like Judith Martin's Miss Manners books;
they're instructive and funny!). Remember that the first rule is to make other people feel at ease.
Using the right fork is not quite as important.

If you feel less educated or intelligent than a man, than make it a point to
learn something new every day. Start with
a subject that interests you (I'd love to study Greek and Roman history). Or take a
class in personal finance. The goal is to be something more tomorrow than
you are today.

In the case of the woman who's intimidated by becoming involved with
an executive, she'll fit in if she makes an effort to do as the natives do.
It also helps to read biographies of prominent, successful, admired women to understand
how they conducted themselves. A book about Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis or Audrey Hepburn
is a good start.

The key to success in any relationship, though, is to remain true to yourself. And if you treat others as you'd have them treat you (and expect them to return the favor), you're way ahead of the game.

'Class' doesn't ensure kindness or any other virtue. Cultivate your
very best qualities, and the guy you fear is out of your league will
be lucky to have you in his life indeed.

Whatever you do, don't ever let yourself get carried away by any man's
"greatness." I did this once! I dated an older, successful
Wall Street exec, fell head over heels for him, fretted that I wasn't good
enough for him.

Which amounted to relationship suicide.

Then I found out that the guy had been cheating on me with two other women,
had been involved in unsavory (and probably illegal) activities at
his company, and that he was a hopeless liar.

In other words, make sure a guy is in your league. Is he good
enough for you?

Terry Hernon MacDonald is the author of "How to Attract and Marry the Man of Your Dreams." Sign up for free dating tips at http://www.marrysmart.com . Check out her blog at http://happygirlmusing.com

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