This dating advice for women - grown-ups who are past the heady infatuations of adolescence - concerns getting ready for a date with someone they met online. Blind dates can and have led to satisfying relationships, and, of course, they have also led to many 'worst experiences of my life' evenings. Meeting someone online is just the modern version of the blind date, and the same rules hold true for this new twist in the mating game.
You two have already decided, by comparing notes online, that you should meet. This function used to be performed by family and friends, who compared ages, lifestyles, and cultures to think that two people would be compatible. Now online profiles and subsequent chats serve to find the common ground. It is time to have a personal encounter - a date.
Hopefully you have not wasted the time spent visiting online. If you have honestly thought through the information that makes up your profile, you have been matched to a suitable prospect. To be this honest and correct, you need to know what you are looking for in a relationship. If you like your single life and are merely lonely, you may be looking for casual friendship. In this case, simply knowing that someone else is the right height and age, and sharing some interests may be all the information you need before agreeing to a meeting. Make sure he is free to date and also interested in a casual relationship, and take the next step.
If you are looking for a serious relationship and are not interested in playing the field, you may want to look a little more before you leap. If you are thinking marriage and kids, you might not be interested in the guy you've met at a singles' site that caters to swingers. In fact, you should avoid such sites as a waste of time and energy. When you chat, talk about what is important to you and find out what is important to him. If all his money goes to his red Stingray, he may not want three kids and a college fund. You can set these criteria ahead of time with the dating service, which will screen candidates for you.
Once you agree to meet or even before, you must consider the details of the first date. Do you want to meet for dinner or more casually for lunch or just a drink? Meeting in a sunny lunchroom may lead to a clearer picture of your date than if you are drinking wine in the seductive light of candles. You may want to make the first meeting informal, so it does not seem overly important or intimate, until you know each other better.
Be kind and dress becomingly but try not to be so dramatically gorgeous that the poor guy falls in love even if you feel nothing at all. Express your personality by your fashion statement on this first date. If you love jeans and T-shirts, choose them. If you prefer ruffles, wear them proudly. This is the first impression he will get of you, and with luck he'll remember it always. Make it a good memory, not a confusing one, such as his seeing you in false eyelashes for the first and only time of your life, or in a motorcycle jacket when your passion is opera.
It is also good - for you - to determine the bottom line before you start, especially if you are hoping for a future with a steady beau. A friend, after falling for a few guys who could offer charming companionship and not much more, finally decided that if a new acquaintance did not have a job and health insurance, she was not going to allow herself to pursue the friendship. Do not demand less of the man than you do of yourself and you will probably end up with an equal.
Set limits on the date before you begin. There is no need for any more intimacy than you are ready for. If you are uncomfortable meeting at his house or yours, meet in a public place. If you want to meet him really casually, invite him to join you and a group of friends at a local hang-out. You will not want to feel imposed upon, so do both of you the favor of determining your comfort level ahead of time. If what you both want is a one on one meeting, that is also fine, and you can plan accordingly.
Finally, do not expect too much for the first date. After all, you know nothing about this man for all practical purposes. Even if the encounter does not lead to further dates, it will still be a chance to get to know someone in pleasant surroundings. So what if you write him off at first sight or after half an hour of conversation? Have the courtesy to make the time you spend together comfortable for both of you, and hope that he will return the favor if you have not engaged his interest. Anyway, he may have friends that will suit you better.
It will either be the start of something big or a little dull. But don't worry about it. It beats sitting home letting life pass you by even if it is not altogether wonderful. And if it is, the stars in your eyes will make waves in his heart, because that is the way it goes. All you will have to do is let love take its course.
All this dating advice for women boils down to is: take as much care preparing yourself mentally and spiritually for a date with an online acquaintance as you do fixing your hair, and then go out and have a good time.
Click here for more Dating Advice for Women.
Click here for How to Meet Men.
Julia James was tired of the same old dating information that made her gag. Instead, she decided to create her own so that she could meet the right person online. Best-Online-Dating-Sites.org and this set of articles was the result.
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